Just DanceHere's to a moment of nostalgia. I'm skimming through pages of ballet terminology and admiring the pictures associated with the movements. I find myself drawn to the faces of each ballerina. Some seem to be in no pain, as though the movement they are captured creating is second nature. Others don't hide the pain quite so well, and my heart reaches out to them. I long to tell them that it's okay not to be prefect, and that all that matters is the beauty of the art they create and the story they portray. But they know better. I know better.
My brain is suddenly racked with invading memories I've kept stashed away and hidden for so long. As painful as they are, I succumb to the invasion. I've returned to that day in the hospital. I still vividly remember my conversation with a ballerina from the San Francisco Ballet. She spoke of her once-successful ballet career, and as I listened with much intensity I could not grasp why she didn't miss it. She didn't miss dance. She stated without hesi
Parallel UniverseThe streetlights pass by in a haze one after the next
Like military drones standing reluctantly in line preparing to salute
My eyes are glued to the road yet they reflect nothing but a hollow void;
A seemingly more desirable destination than my own chamber of dread
I'm miles away in that bastard land of make-believe
Where I won't have to drink to numb the pain corroding my heart
Won't have to sedate my pounding brain and crumbling sense of self
A place where the torment just sort of...
..drifts away with the burning clouds at sunset
Then all too quickly the sound of metal crushing, twisting, contorting
Pain and despair mixed with Jack and Jim overwhelm my eardrums
My life and my insides rip apart in steady, painfully precise synchrony
My vision nothing but a blur as voices hover with all their taunting
'I told you so's and 'could have been's
Launch me across the universe and all those that lie parallel
And land me right back in this heaping pile of rubble and stinking sulfur
While I na
TormentThis weary soul of mine; conflicted
The torment of my heart; afflicted
Rapid breathing, lungs restricted
Hands wrap around my throat, constricted
Ceaseless repititious pounding
Alarms refuse to cease their sounding
Thoughts become thus more confounding
Insides crushing and compounding
DizzyDizzy dreams elude my conciousness
As I awake from restless sleep
I was dreaming of you.
I'm laying next to a man
He makes me rediculously happy
Without even trying
I can see in his eyes how much he loves me
He listens while I spill my countless dark secrets
He never judges
I feel warmth in his smile
And safety in his embrace
He loves me in an unguarded way
And I love him...in ways I'm scared to admit, even to myself.
But there's always you.
Why do you persist on haunting my dreams
With your smile and contagious laugh?
We had our chance
There was too much to risk
We hovered at the edge of disaster
With every kiss
I know you felt it..
I couldn't go on that way.
I couldn't keep begging for what you could never give
It took far too long for me to unravel myself
From the the depths of you
Only for me to end up right back where I started
All those years ago, when I first lost myself in you..
But I can't chase you away, can I?