literature

To My Little One

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skyeconnelly's avatar
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Literature Text

To the little one growing within..
You know nothing yet of the outside world
Your home in these early stages is quiet, dark, and safe
Protected from harsh extremities and realities
Sheltered in your aquarian dreamworld
As God continues to shape and mold
Every beautiful inch of you
Day by endless day

The work He is busy doing inside, this very moment
Drains and exhausts me down to my core
I long to speed the process
Anxious your arrival
But I know the work is far from finished.
God takes his time
He does not rush
This miracle of life

I feel increasingly overwhelmed by this thought
I never imagined I would one day
Be endowed with such a blessing
That of carrying a child
It thrills and terrifies me simultaneously
I saw your heartbeat at an ultrasound
Just the other day
Beating so rapidly, so fragile I cannot even grasp
I watched you tumble and wiggle freely inside my womb
My precious little angel, more dear to me than you will ever know
My heart wells up with joy I have never before felt
At the very thought of you
And terror of immeasurable amounts
This is all so new to me, so foreign..

Do not get me wrong, dearest little one
I have no doubts or regrets for your existence
You are a precious gift from God
I wouldn't trade for anything in the world
I welcome your tiny presence
Sick as I may be physically
You are just over 12 inches long now
And I can hardly fathom it
There are not enough books or seminars in the world
To truly, truly prepare a mother for those first fragile moments

My heart is so full of gratitude and anticipation
I feel it may rupture any moment
What terrorize me are not thoughts of any imperfections
God may grant you in his perfect eye of creation
I am not fearful of my love for you,
I know it will be more than anything I've ever felt before
In my entire life, and it will never fade, come whatever may.
What I fear most is that I will be ill equipped
To protect and shelter you from the harsh world
You will one day be born into

Still, I dream of the first day when I will gaze
Into those beautiful, big eyes of yours
Looking to me for food, warmth, shelter and comfort
I will go to the ends of the earth to provide you those things
And trust God to aid me if I ever fall short
I want to be the most perfect mother a child could ask for
I want to give you everything you could ever need, and more
My resources, finances are limited
But God's love is not. He will be at our sides
Every single moment of every single day
Never letting us out of his sight
Embracing us in His loving arms
As we grow together; I as a new mother, and you..
A new inhabitant of this earth we wander.

One day, though, you will drift away from me
You will no longer rely on me for food and shelter
You will begin your own search for purpose
And live your life according to your own wishes
Of course, like any mother, this will be the hardest day for me
To let you go, unknowing and unaware, into the world
I will no longer be able to hold you in my arms and keep you safe
You will no longer need me.
But if you ever do, I will be there in a heartbeat
What a painful time that must be for parents, albeit natural
To watch their young fly away on their own fragile wings
Knowing you won't always be there to catch them when they fall
I'll feel like a piece of my soul is missing
Literally detached from my being

I'm thinking way too far ahead now, though
You are still so incredibly small inside of me
I've only just begun to feel the flutters and gentle kicks of life within
The fragility of your existence causes me many sleepless nights
The thought of anything happening to you
Renders a complete emotional breakdown
I pray I can be competent and deliver you as a healthy, beautiful child
I have to trust God now, more than ever
This is in His hands entirely, I am simply a vessel through which
You will come into the world, kicking and screaming and

Perfect.

I can't wait to meet you.
Just thoughts.. :aww:

:icondonotuseplz::iconmyartplz:
© 2010 - 2024 skyeconnelly
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PINK-ROSE14's avatar
I have no words to describe how wondrous this piece is.
:heart: ^_^